Keepersofthegarden

By Nina McIntosh-Ragland KeepersoftheGarden

It is June 11, 2025 and I celebrate my day of birth. I woke up 59 realizing life has changed,I have changed. I am grateful today that the 16 year old girl who is my natural mother did not abort me. She concealed her pregnancy and I have been told through a letter she sent with me “she loved her baby”. 

Self-care is so much about our emotions. I was angry most of my life,hurt,broken about being orphaned. Our emotions are God given but negative feelings are not supposed to control our lives. As believers in God and his higher power we are required to live by a code of conduct. There is a syllabus to how we act and what acceptable behavior is.

“Finally, brothers, whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable—if anything is excellent or praiseworthy—think about such things…and the God of peace will be with you.”  Philippians 4:8-9

Code of Conduct 

decent

ethical

good

honest

honorable

moral

nice

virtuos

loving

joyus

peaceful

patient

generous

I suggest you find the attributes in our code of conduct to replace those emotions that will bring negativity to your life. Find the positive in situations,people and yourself. I had to find joy and strength in my birth mother. I needed to forgive her for the pain she caused me, to be healed. She didn’t know what she was going to do with a baby in 1966 but she chose me! How could I remain angry and hateful with that.

My heavenly Father took the wheel and gave me beautiful, loving parents. I had a fairytale childhood and an awesome family. I married my best friend, he loves me, provides for me, he is my partner. I have a son,a bonus daughter, six grandchildren and real sisters. I can now enjoy my family without the emotional baggage. Emotional baggage is like rocks in a suitcase thrown in the ocean.

I encourage you to have boundaries to protect your emotional health, this is selfcare. If the people in your life bring emotional baggage,set limits for what you will allow in your space and in your spirit.

You are free to live unbothered by negative emotions. Take the rocks out of your suit case and be emotionally healthy.